Well the long holiday weekend is drawing to a close, and if volume of food eaten could earn fantasy points, I clearly won my league this week. It will remain Black Friday in my colon for a few more days at least, as I return to eating normalcy and unleash a volley of greens and other fiber rich foods to do battle in my lower intestine. Victory will be mine, I’m typically a very healthy eater, but occasionally all bets are off. These past 4 days were no exception.
Speaking of colons, I can’t help but bow down to my suck team this week. Detroit’s defense was absolutely pooptacular, followed up by a very solid performance by rising suck league superstar James Clausen. FINALLY, a quarterback with no stupid touchdowns, and my first QB scoring in negative territory in quite a few weeks. His -0.80 combined with Detroit’s stellar (whatever the opposite of stellar is) -13.00 earned me a commanding win with -13.80 points. My adversary sadly disqualified himself this week by not using a starting QB. It wasn’t intentional, he just got caught up in holiday family type things and didn’t check to see if the mighty Jason Campbell was starting. But suckleague is where men play, and if you want to prioritize your family and loved ones over your starting QB, you kind of get what you deserve. He did go with Buffalo’s defense, and after their +9.00 performance against the Steelers, there was no hope for him.
Let’s briefly salute this weeks iron man, Rusty freaking Smith of the Tennessee Titans: -7.60. There’s just no substitute for that first NFL game.