Welcome to the Suckleague.com 2010 season hall of fame induction cermony. Queue some doves or wounded pigeons or whatever.
First an overview:
Player’s don’t get inducted into the Suckleague hall of fame, player-seasons do. Our up until now only member (Alex Smith-2005) is statistically pretty average at this point in his NFL career, and wouldn’t make any kind of hall of fame, good or bad. Right now, I think he’s a pretty decent QB, if he could stay healthy.
However, the Alex Smith of 2005 was so special in the negative fantasy football world, he’s been our lone hall of fame member for going on 5 years now. But this year, as Yoda would say, there is another. And in a much creepier voice. Not that you can hear me.
Jimmy Clausen-2010 went -2.60 for the year. Let’s put that in perspective. It’s damn near impossible to go negative for the year if you play more than 2 or 3 games. Sure others this year have worst scores, but they played 3 games or so at best. This guy threw for 1500 yards and ended up in the negative, and that’s unheard of. As with anyone, we wish Jimmy Clausen a very successful NFL career, but in the here and now, clearly it’s time to honor his accomplishments in 2010.
I asked for comment regarding Clausen’s season, and the adversary had this to say:
Adversary: Let’s not forget John Fox’s role in all this. Most coaches don’t have the conviction to stay with a guy that’s playing that poorly with no sign of getting better.
Me: Well he didn’t have anyone else though, I think Matt Moore was hurt.
Adversary: I disagree.
Adversary: There are practice squad guys. The field goal kicker. Or play wildcat every down. I applaud Fox for not resorting to wild ass ideas.
Me: Hmm. So you feel putting the field goal kicker in at QB or running wildcat every play would have been a better idea?
Adversary: Who holds kicks for Carolina?
Me: I have no idea. I’m fairly certain nobody knows that.
Adversary: Surely there was some reciever that played QB in high school somewhere on that roster. Or put 3 tailbacks in and snap the ball to one of them.
Me: So we’re up to anyone who’s every played QB ever at any level, the field goal holder, the wildcat every play, 3 tailbacks, as well as things like 4 or 5 tight end sets, and any of these were better options and John Fox should get credit for not going that route?
Me: Fair enough, good point.
If this were real, and since the meds wore off not too long ago, I can’t for sure say that it isn’t, Jimmy could be heard to say:
“So many people to thank. My coaches, for calling plays that middle school defenses could see coming. Depriving me of any verteran quarterback to learn from made it that much more special. Oh and a line that couldn’t stop paper mache defenders, can’t say enough about those guys. Also the fans on the sidelines that wear Panther jerseys and kind of look like receivers sometimes. And I’ve got to thank Notre Dame for being a giant fraud of a program. Playing nothing but 2 bit vocational schools and service academies really prepared me for this moment.
I guess if this year taught me anything, it’s confirmed my belief that whichever team scores more points is going to win the football game.”
Charlie Weis couldn’t be reached for comment, as nobody knows what league or team he is employed by this week.