Future stars – 1/15

Written by SLAdmin on January 15th, 2011

Well Andrew Luck is getting all PSA and pulling a Peyton Manning / Matt Leinart by staying in school.

If it’s jumped off the screen that those 2 have had quite different careers, you get a star. But let’s face it, whatever has come to be, they both sucked ass their first year. (One stopped sucking pretty hard). The mighty Andrew Luck would have as well, (his last name even rhymes with suck), and especially on a nonexistent Carolina team. Well I mean technically they exist in that they take up three dimensional space, but not in a football sense.

Anyway, this might not be all bad news.
I like Luck. And surely when he does come out, he’ll have youth and inexperience on his side and for a period, stink up the joint famously. But my gut feeling is, like a Matt Ryan or Sam Bradford, I see Luck not sucking pretty quickly. Not betting my autographed Max Hall jersey on it, but it’s just a hunch. So this REALLY opens up the field to some ponderously questionable “first” round talent in this year’s draft.

We’ll be breaking down their Suckleague potential as it gets closer to draft time, but get familiar with these names: Blaine Gabbert, Cam Newton, Jake Locker, Ryan Mallett, Pat Devlin, Andy Dalton, and Nathan Enderle. Spine chilling amounts of awful this way come.

We'll save a spot for you next year

On another note, in one of the many poignant, reality based conversations that the adversary and I have, (that will no doubt confuse military psychiatrists of the far future to no end), he suggested that I change my middle name to “Pilsner”. Not for any particular reason, it just sounded dope. I naturally thought; if I were going to do that, why not change my first and last name as well? So I came up with “Immutable Pilsner Jackhammer” as a potential full name.

You hear “And your name is?” all day long, what a great response that would be. Feel free to name your children this.


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