Let’s get this out of the way. Matt Moore was disgusting. 2 fumbles and 2 interceptions.
-6.80, and I’ve lost the week.
However, none of it was natural. I remain convinced that the adversary and possibly some other Suckleague participants, whose seasons were also in a death spiral, engaged the services of some kind of dark mage or shaman to introduce some supernatural elements into last night’s game.
The evidence so far:
- Matt Moore is picked off by Derrelle Revis early in the game after Revis essentially molested Brandon Marshall well past the 5 yard mark where such man on man groping is permissible. All referees are temporarily and inexplicably blinded during this event.
- Brandon Marshall catches a sure touchdown pass from Matt Moore then is mysteriously “compelled” out of bounds by some kind of unseen shadow creature or an irresistible ethereal wind gust of sorts.
I could go on, but if you saw the game, clearly you’ll agree other forces were at work there.
Blaine Gabbert was of course not disgusting, 5 sacks (good show), 1 TD (bad show). I think the Blaine Gabbert experiment is headed to the same latrine that the Andy Dalton file is being stored in. I’ll no doubt have some poignant, coherent, and rational debate on the topic of my next quarterback selection later in the week.
So the game has changed. And if this is how the adversary wants to play it (telekinesis, polymorphism, interdimensional sabotage, apparently NOTHING is off the table) well that’s just fine, we can kick it up a notch.
Now if you’ll pardon me, my “dinner guest” and I have some calculations to finish up.