The 2011 Suckies

Written by SLAdmin on April 5th, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen, (as if I have multiple readers, yeah right) it’s time to recognize the greatness (horror) that was the 2011 Suckleague reverse fantasy football season. I apologize for taking so long with this, as I mentioned, the job I have that pays actual money had to take precedence over Suckleague. For the moment anyway. (You could hit refresh like 20,000 times and I’ll sell ad space)

Now, THIS pisses me off: As I had to wait so long, it turns out I can’t access Yahoo’s history of 2011 week by week scores anymore, so I have to go by the notes I took throughout the year as well as memory. Consequently, this will be a very ghetto award’s ceremony. And frankly, if you were expecting anything more than that from Suckleague, you really need to check yourself.

Soooo, cue the dancing monkey with syphilis…. It’s time for the 2011 Suckies:

Statistically the worst performance: Caleb Hanie – Week 13 vs. KC.
So I didn’t write down the actual number (suffice to say it was contemptable), yours truly stupidly expected stupid Yahoo would keep the data up, but what do I know. Oh yeah, much more than Yahoo, who probably won’t be in business next year because their best bet for surviving was selling when Microsoft was offering to buy them at something like $35 a share, and, let’s see, what’s their stock price right now, oh like $15, good job Jerry Yang, the LEAST you could do to save your company is make the fantasy football data accessible after the year ends, but whatever, at least you guys have that dope search engine. Oh yeah, that’s right, you farm out your searches to Microsoft’s Bing, so what do you really have? Apparently not the history of my fantasy league, assholes.

Greatest (Worstest) Defense: Tampa Bay
Over the course of the season, this unit was reprehensible. Again, I can’t quote any actual numbers, because Jerry Yang is an ass mobile, but I know they won me like 7 weeks with just vile numbers.

Strangest Performance: Week 12 – Giants defense vs Saints
I mean, good job winning the Superbowl and all, but giving up 49 points to the Saints for an wholly disgusting -14.00? Way to show up guys.

And…. Suckleague performance of the year: Luke Mccown – Week 2 vs. NYJ
I wish I could get this number. I still haven’t scabbed over completely, but all I remember is he threw something like 4 or 5 picks. It just got worse and worse after you thought it couldn’t possibly. His score was despicable, I almost gave up on the season right then. Had he not been benched, the adversary would have lost (won) 15 games.

SOOOO, let’s take a look at what this year’s actual Suckie award looks like. OH THAT’S RIGHT, IT LOOK AN AWFUL LOT LIKE THE REMAINS OF YAHOO’S BILLBOARD BECAUSE THEY DON’T KEEP THEIR FANTASY FOOTBALL DATA UP LONG ENOUGH.

Fine, that and they have no saleable products, but it’s probably more the fantasy football thing. Stay tuned, I’ll be posting as much as possible during the offseason.

The2011Suckie

 

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