That’s my Gruden

Written by SLAdmin on October 2nd, 2012

So valued reader(s), week 4 is in the books and it’s time for my favorite type of post: Crap-John-Gruden-says-during-MNF-as-well-as-random-observations. As always, these are actual John Gruden comments.

Gruden: “Great receivers make one man miss.” (I would think great receivers make all 11 men miss)

Random Observation: Rob Ryan looks like a weighty version Rex Ryan, who himself looks like a weighty version of Rex Ryan.

Random Observation: Apparently the Buffalo Bills cut their punter Brian Mormon earlier this week because he’s not a good directional punter. Dallas has since picked him up and tonight Brian Mormon has kicked 2 of the most beautiful directional punts I’ve ever seen. Also, Brian Mormon looks like a bald Kerry Collins in 3/4 scale. So don’t let anyone ever tell you the Dallas Cowboys don’t know how to judge talent because both of those points are very impressive.


Gruden: “Jay Cutler hands the ball off to Forte, away from where the Cowboys are” (You mean behind the line of scrimmage? Where else would a hand off occur?)

Random Observation: Jay Culter is a quarterback in the NFL. Jay Cutler makes many millions of dollars a year. Jay Culter gets to have lots of sex with Kristin Cavallari.


And yet Jay Culter is always pissed off.
Jay Culter is an idiot.

Gruden: “You’ve got to admire a quarterback that throws an interception for a touchdown.” (What, why?)

As to week 4, the adversary and I went into the 4 o’clock games scored fairly close as both our defenses were deplorable. It would come down to the mighty shoulder of preeminence. The arm of competency. THE HAND OF FACULTY (Ryan Tannehill) AND AT ONE POINT I REALLY (oh sorry, caps lock) I really was quite close to losing (losing). While he threw 2 interceptions, gave himself up to be sacked 4 times, and even lost a fumble, ultimately he lost focus and threw a TD and for 400 yards. Score another victory by a margin well into the whole numbers (4.42) for team RIM. Just when you think Research in Motion can’t get any worse, they find a way. What do you think of that coach Gruden?

Gruden: “Chicago continues to run the big bad bush” (Wow, that can’t be appropriate)

– J


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