What a pleasant surprise last night when I discovered there would be no new episode of The Office, but instead an all-channel showing of a vice presidential debate. Vice presidential debate. The only other 3 words I can think I’d want to hear less are “quick penis biopsy”. “Weeden’s fifth touchdown” would be pretty horrible as well, and maybe “Mcrib is back”. Really the penis thing would be the worst by a significant margin. Then Mcrib, then probably the debate. What the heck was my point here?
Oh the debate. Of course it was boring and predictable on both sides, but a pleasant surprise was Joe Biden on the split screen. In case you missed it, every time Paul Ryan said anything at all, be it some claim about the economy or simply stating his age or what town he was from, Biden responded with a rolling-eyed smiley face as if he just heard Hillary Clinton explain to the moderator how Bill wears the pants in the family:
Yeah that look there. I have a feeling this behavior was coached by the same guy who told Al Gore in 2000, “Get in W’s face, get really close to him, like uncomfortably close. Actually get BETWEEN Bush and the camera. Oh man is this going to work!” They should consider firing that guy, just my take. I did come away satisfied both candidates will fight to protect the long tradition of gridlock that makes our government so great.
Speaking of debate… (really?) YES REALLY. Look you cannot teach this kind of mastery of topic transition, you’re simply born with it or not. And clearly I was born.
I probably spent 20 minutes staring at Yahoo this afternoon debating (bam) who would replace the ever improving Brandon Weeden. Yet even after that odd diatribe in my last post how I swore I wouldn’t try to save Oldsmobile, it appears I’ve reallocated a huge portion of my budget to redesign the Cutlass Supreme by keeping Brandon Weeden. Ok, I failed. I can’t find a better option right now. But I’m not done, Weeden will screw me this weekend if I don’t swap him out, just as the emperor has foreseen. However, defensively I’m feeling great. I’ve secured the blue (formerly silver) and black for their trip to Atlanta. If Matt Ryan can’t put up 35 on the Raiders, well, um I don’t need the second part of this, there’s no way Matt Ryan won’t put up 35 on the Raiders.
I will update if, NAY WHEN, I swap Weeden out. I’ll not forget history, for when we do, we’re doomed to repeat it.
Ok seriously, gross. What the hell is that?
That “Acheiva” is a good looking car, isn’t it Joe Biden?
RIM up, Comfort Wipes down (That sounds oddly appropriate).
Goodbye Brady Weeden, I’ve replaced you with Brandon Quinn.