Hail to the Chiefs, eh

Written by SLAdmin on November 10th, 2012

So, the 2012 election is over and it’s time to celebrate the beauty of America. If you noticed both that I used the word “beauty” in that sentence as well as started it with the word “so”, you’d think I was Canadian. That would be understandable as Canadian and bad grammar can be a challenge to tell apart at times. However, as it’s yours truly writing this, obviously it was bad grammar. So, back to what I was talking aboot, eh (that was me intentionally trying to sound Canadian), election 2012 is finally over and the results are in: The president is, well the same guy. The senate is, um, still controlled by the democrats. Finally, the house of representatives is, uh, yet again controlled by the republicans. Our votes sent a clear message to Washington; as a nation, we’re obsessed with gridlock and we’d like to see more of it. Other notable achievements: pot is now legal in Colorado and California. However, if you’re a porn star in California, you must now wear a condom in all sex scenes. But feel free to smoke as much marijuana as you’d like while wearing your government mandated condom.

Speaking of pot and condoms, score week 9 for team ass wand. (I defy anyone to use that sentence even one more time before you die.) The adversary completely quashed my effort, leaving John Skelton unemployed and the Bills defense on double secret probation. His duet of Christian Ponder and Arizona’s defense handily handled team RIM by over 20 points.

So, to week 10. The adversary set his lineup early this week and he’s going all in on the Chiefs. All in. All in on Matt effing Cassel, our generation’s Scipio Africanus. (Then go look it up. Suckleague may not do much, but it WILL make you think). Against the Steelers, the KC defense is also a strong (utterly anemic) grab. All in is a huge risk but could also have a huge payoff, and boy the Chiefs sure do suck.

Research in Motion is reluctantly sticking with Buffalo’s “defensive” unit. As they face the wicked sweet chowd offense, I’m willing to give them another shot. Sam Bradford vs. the 49ers rounds out my dyad of horror. It is, as they say in Canada, ON, like french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy.

So, I ended up thinking I’d go one of two directions in closing:

  • Some tie-in to the Charlton Heston classic “Soylent Green” as a commentary on the dangers of a government that isn’t accountable to its people
  • OR

  • More silly Canadian words

So, mounted police, hockey, snow, toques, round bacon, and Rush.

– J

Soylent Green eh


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