Motivation time. This post is interactive so pay attention.
1) Click on the following link to begin the soundtrack for this post. Click past any ads and once the video is playing, return here and go to step 2:
2) Now that we have music, click on the following and spend a good minute or two staring at it:
Ideally print off the above page so you can stare at it from time to time whilst reading the remainder of this post. I’d advise looping “Anthem” at this point as well.
Victory has returned to team Me. I’ve faced quite a few weeks of defeat, but I’m back. And that means America is back. Our armed forces are back, and our unions are back. (?)
To the events of week 13. I pulled the trigger on Miami’s defense and Ryan Lindley this week. The adversary went with Tennessee’s defense and Charlie Batch. It was all reasonably terrible, but the day really rested on Charlie Batch’s shoulders. Being the sole 4 pm player, he was make or break for both of us. At one point he had thrown for enough yards to win me the week, however he promptly tossed an interception and put me a seemingly insurmountable 4 points behind (behind) the adversary. Fast forward a bit and he sealed my victory by throwing a TD pass to Heath Miller. And with that, that beautiful 37 year old man has quite unknowingly unleashed the Chicken Apocalypse.
Now, let’s be frank for a moment. You can’t possibly reference Top Gun without talking about the Volleyball Scene. (You’ll need to pause “Anthem” for a moment to fully experience this)
Look, I don’t care if you’re male, female, a hermaphrodite, or some kind of neuter. Straight, homosexual, bi-sexual, tri-sexual or married to a Real Doll©, this scene makes everyone uncomfortable:
Affronts against humanity in this video for you to ponder:
- The gratuitous “watch time is it?” check-my-watch-flex at :03 and :22
- The WTF self-flex at :39
- The “growl” at :56
- The creepy man hug at 1:15
And of course, the utter horror of Kenny Loggin’s “Playing with the Boys” laid on top of the whole thing. You’re not alone if you feel a bit dirty and kind of hate yourself after watching that. If you didn’t, I’d be concerned.
So, let’s get back to the happy. This post is about wonderful and wholesome things, namely win #1 for the Chicken Apocalypse and loss #1 for the Anonymous Jets. So join me. Grab a box of tissues, fire off “Anthem”, and stare at the flying chicken. Anything to add Charlie Batch?
“This post is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been a part of!”