August, 2013

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The Wisdom of Rex Ryan

Saturday, August 24th, 2013

I’ll borrow some from Jewish mythology to make my point here.

Two women are brought before Rex Ryan, each claiming a baby belongs to them (said nobody ever).

Rex Ryan suggests the baby be cut in half and each half be given to the either of the two women. The first woman (being a Pats fan) has no problem with this plan. The second woman begs Rex Ryan to not cut the baby in half, and also to not jeopardize the Jets season by putting Mark Sanzchez in the 4th quarter of a meaningless pre-season game.

Rex Ryan responds by putting Mark Sanchez in only to get a shoulder injury. Both women conclude that both Geno Smith and Mark Sanchez suck and that Rex Ryan is an idiot. They also come to the realization that the baby in question is actually a cheese steak and Rex Ryan is addicted to fatty foods. And they lived happily ever after (?)

Back to reality, it really looks like Geno Smith is going to be the Jets starter week one of the actual NFL season. I just (euphorically) threw up in my mouth a little.

Look, I’m all for sexual fetishes, and quite flexible in this area, but the combination of Rex Ryan and this woman’s feet have officially turned me off permanently.

– J

Suckleague 2013 – Promises made, promises made.

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

At the close of last season I reaffirmed my commitment to posting regularly in the off season and invited the adversary to do so as well. So naturally, minus a reasonably lucent post shortly after the 2012 season ended (something about GMC, slashing weapons, and applicable state laws), I have posted a total of zero (0) times in 2013. Don’t get me wrong, most (all) rational humans are thankful for this.

However, I, much like the adversary, have watched in sickened dismay regarding Mark Sanchez’s attempt to look like the cafeteria lady from my high school. Case in point:

Geno Smith and Blaine Gabbert called and think that’s jacked up.

Speaking of Geno Smith and Blane Gabbert and all the rising (utterly sinking) stars of 2014, a new season of Suckleague approaches.

So, with nothing but respect:

2013-14 season preview: spam

Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

I thought I’d take the opportunity to sneak one last post in before my account is revoked. Actually, it’s just a cut-and-paste job of some spam I got a couple of weeks ago–I can’t be bothered to write something “original.”

Nothing makes me cringe in fear for the coming Suckleague season like some (not really) targeted Spam–especially one featuring one of the standouts (complete disasters) of the 2013 Suckleague season. I mean, look at that stash/’do combo–disgusting.

–The Adversary

—– Now for the good part —–

Everywhere, Sanchez is under siege, whether from Mycetophilidae, media or metro New Yorkers.Just two summers ago, he was posing for magazine covers, the fresh new face of football quarterbacks.Today, he is seen as all but done, destined to lose his job to a rookie with great potential, but one who was not wanted in the first round of the cheap nfl jerseys shopdraft.With his every throw dissected in this camp – and many of those throws wobbling – the consensus from those who watch every day is that he stands no chance of beating smith.

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Back in July 2003, some may have thought they had Warner and Manning pegged very well.Let s give warner a pass for the injury.He ll get the rams back to elite status this season.Peyton?He just lost 41-0 to the Jets.No playoff wins in five seasons.Tony dungy was the wrong hire.The colts will never win a playoff game with those chokers at the helm. ”
So this will let us know kind of game situations what it’s gonna be like week in and week out with a different set of receivers.Like i said, i can’t wait to see these guys in the game to actually see jerseys for salehow they communicate, how they play, how they hit, how they take getting beat, how they take making a play and just bouncing back and keeping it going.”
”We really didn’t know what we were getting when we got Nnamdi, ” Fangio said.”He’s got some good days out here and some days where we weren’t sure if he was going to be able to still have it.So i think we’re kind of in between with him right now.Hopefully, he’ll still have some gas left in his tank to go out there and play like he did prior to going to philadelphia.So i think the jury is still out there.”