The Wisdom of Rex Ryan

Written by SLAdmin on August 24th, 2013

I’ll borrow some from Jewish mythology to make my point here.

Two women are brought before Rex Ryan, each claiming a baby belongs to them (said nobody ever).

Rex Ryan suggests the baby be cut in half and each half be given to the either of the two women. The first woman (being a Pats fan) has no problem with this plan. The second woman begs Rex Ryan to not cut the baby in half, and also to not jeopardize the Jets season by putting Mark Sanzchez in the 4th quarter of a meaningless pre-season game.

Rex Ryan responds by putting Mark Sanchez in only to get a shoulder injury. Both women conclude that both Geno Smith and Mark Sanchez suck and that Rex Ryan is an idiot. They also come to the realization that the baby in question is actually a cheese steak and Rex Ryan is addicted to fatty foods. And they lived happily ever after (?)

Back to reality, it really looks like Geno Smith is going to be the Jets starter week one of the actual NFL season. I just (euphorically) threw up in my mouth a little.

Look, I’m all for sexual fetishes, and quite flexible in this area, but the combination of Rex Ryan and this woman’s feet have officially turned me off permanently.

– J


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