Ikea 2 – The Quickening

Written by SLAdmin on September 17th, 2013

Do I milk Ikea for blog content? You bet I do. And frankly, can you recall anything not Ikea-related that you’d consider quality writing by yours truly on this site? The question is quite obviously, hardly worth answering. On to the photos of my recent visit. So there’s this guy:

Tord Bjorkland? No one can possibly be named this as it’s not pronounceable. I don’t care how close to the north pole you are born, your given name must comply with basic linguistics.

I took this picture as Ace of Base was being piped over the PA system. I know you can’t really get a sense of that from the picture, but if you’d like to start singing “I saw the sign” out loud, I don’t know many people that would hold that against you.

One thing you can never charge Ikea with is racism. Strange Swedish cabbage-patch-like dolls are a full 20% not Swedish.

Ok enough. Ekby Oxie? I’ll safely assume that when one has a baby in Sweden, it’s name is nothing more than a government mandated string of randomly generated letters. Despite all this, I departed triumphant:

That Hemnes end table now holds a prominent place at the end of my couch. It has up to this point successfully supported both a lamp and a beverage. At the same time. Heck yeah, bizzarishly scaled meatballs for the win.

Speaking of small meatballs and a lack of vowels (?), the adversary kind of kicked my ass last week. Between Jake Locker and Tampa’s defense, I scored almost 35 points in the positive. How the tandem of Jake Locker and the Buccaneer defense can combine for 35 points is the stuff of ABBA compilation albums, but I’ll give props to his cheap ass particle board lineup of Christian Ponder and the Jacksonville defense. Well done Bjorn Borg.

That said, Chad Henne faces Seattle and Oakland’s defense faces Peyton Manning. If that’s not a bucket of fermented herring I don’t know what is.

-J

 

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