Some points to the adversary’s points:
#1) Where on earth did you find a Torg Bjorkland selfie?
#4) You can poke fun at the counting thing all that you want, but it’s only funny until I get a handle on it which I no doubt will inevitably do. Tonight might just be that night….. 2, 1, 3, blastoff! (DAMMIT)
Whatever, here’s some mathology I am certain of: One of us finally scored into the negative, and it was truly yours at -10.20. Chad Henne was disgusting and Oakland’s defense was even worser (-3.20 and -7.00 respectively). I absolutely waylaid the adversary -10.2 to his positive 12.2. As satisfying as this is, I couldn’t be more pissed at Brian Hoyer. Let’s break this down:
Team fantastic (me):
Chad Henne -3.20
Team broken condom laying behind a dumpster (the adversary):
Brain Hoyer: 340.00
Clearly one of these things is not like the other. This could have easily been a record low scoring week and as much as I want the win, I would have much preferred Brian Hoyer live up to his name (Brian Hoyer). Look, the adversary’s picks were spot on, frankly better than mine, i.e., how in the fudge does Brian Hoyer throw for 300 yards and 3 touchdowns? If Brian Hoyer was Julia Roberts then the Vikings defense was the bald store manager kissing her ass because she has Richard Gere’s credit card. And wow that was the worst analogy I’ve ever put forward. If that analogy was a character from Inception, it would have been Mal. And all my analogies that aren’t that analogy would be Saito. Hmm.
Well, as expected tonight’s prose has catastrophically jumped off the tracks and plunged into the abyss. Where was I? (as if it matters at this point) Oh week 3 (DAMMIT 4).
I’m pulling the trigger on the Eagles defense, as Chip Kelly likes to keep them on the field for 54 minutes of every game. And for the moment I’m throwing my saddle on Carson Palmer as the Arizona offensive line is, well isn’t.
In closing, if this ending was a planet, it would be Pluto. And I’m out. In more ways that you can imagine.