Rock, Paper, Tactical Nuclear Weapon

Written by SLAdmin on October 15th, 2013

So we’ve been talking a ton about Rex Ryan this year. I assume because he has a foot fetish and coaches the stupid Jets. And intentionally ended his QB’s season. And he probably has man-tits. And, so wait, no more Rex Ryan talk. He’s a priceless and valuable member of the human race that has the worst job on the planet. Right behind John Boehner’s publicist (Oh I did not).

So, the Denver / Jacksonville thing finally happened and yeah, no duh, I lost. But not the way I expected. The Jacksonville Jaguars defense did that thing where when you tell somebody they’re going to lose by an absurd margin because they’re that terrible, then they really get offended by that and find the will to not be that terrible. They actually put up a 2 (two). Of course 2.00 is horrific for a defense, but come on, this was the Jacksonbille (adversary, explain yourself) Jaguars facing the most potent offense you and I will see this year. The adversary scored -0.88 for the week, a very respectable reverse fantasy football number. What shocked me is my “defense” (the Browns of Cleaveland) scored a -3.00 all by themselves, besting the Jaguars defense in a week in which they were 28 point underdogs. The poison pill in my Swiss Miss was Carson Palmer (I hate when I say that in everyday conversation).

But, I tend to think Jacksonville blew their proverbial load (?) against Denver, and they will revert to even more horrific numbers as the weeks go on. It’s as if the adversary has shown up with an M-16, and I’m sitting across the table pointing a Furby with dead batteries at him. Put simply, I’m out gunned.

As I contemplate my picks this week, I will also consider how many shades of orange one man can achieve.

- Jeff


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