Here’s a picture of Jerry Jones. Because Jerry Jones would want it that way.
Here’s another picture of Jerry Jones.
I mean look at him, being all Jerry Jones sitting there, probably thinking about money. Or maybe buying something. Or even thinking about selling something and making money.
And there he is with some crazy hot gal. I don’t get to hang out with crazy hot women. You know who does? Uh, Jerry Jones. I enjoy myself thoroughly, but I wouldn’t mind being Jerry Jones either. You know who I’d hate to be? (** WARNING *** – The Large Hadron Terrible Segue Monitor has detected an anomaly. Unmanned drone dispatched to assassinate author). Oh shut up, it wasn’t that bad. Fine, it was. But you know who I’d hate to be? Jason Campbell, Kellen Clemens, the Washington Redskins defense, and the Jacksonville Jaguars defense. And Julian Assange.
I’m calling it (because we all know when I call something it has a 99% chance of not happening). Shut up parenthetical self, I’m calling it. This could be the worst (best) week of the year. Jason Campbell & Kellen Clemens? Piloting the Rams and Browns? Jaguars v 9ers and Washington v Denver? THIS IS THE WEEK, PERIOD. Jerry Jones, close this thing.
Sure enough, there’s Jerry Jones at the club, just Jerry Jonesing his face off. I can’t be certain, but I think that’s three (3) buttons he has open. THREE. You could not pull that off.