I had such high (rock bottom) hopes for this week and for the most part it was a reasonably putrid Sunday at Suckleague central. The adversary started strong (like a trailer hitch made out of balsa wood) with the Jags defense delivering a whopping -7.00 in what was no doubt an international good will clinic in what NOT to do if you’re the first city outside the United States planning to have an NFL team.
My stateside defensive unit, the Washington – we don’t hate American Indians (much) – was statistically ok and ended up being worth 7 points in the positive. But in reality they gave up 39 points, so I’ll join Tony Romo and claim a moral victory for starting them. As to my quarterback Kellen Clemens? He wanted it bad, posting a solid -4.74, netting 2 interceptions, 158 yards, and willing himself to be sacked 3 times.
However, this season’s truly ghastly week, the week in which all 4 of our players rise up (and fall down) still eludes us. This week’s poison pill? Jason Campbell. Wait, the Jason Campbell the Redskins drafted in 2005? (To our American Indian friends, my use of the R-word was inexcusable there, but understand I was merely stating historical fact). 300 yards and 2 touchdowns for a whopping 24.96 points.
As always, I’ll take the win (win), but I’m still looking forward to that week where it all comes together (the wheels catch fire and fall off). As I type this, I notice the adversary had grabbed the Vikings defense and, oh dear, Mike Glennon with his supporting cast of “Schiano’s job savers” as they face Seattle this week. In Seattle. Yikes.
As to the adversary, his typical mid-season behavior has returned. He gets a small taste of the power that comes with a Suckleague season and decides to engage on a world tour of debauchery consisting mainly of whores and cocaine. Yet again, once he gets that out of his system, I look forward to his posting again from time to time. Not that I find anything wrong with whores and cocaine.
So, even though I’ve yet to make my picks yet, I’m calling it. This is the week where it all comes together (becomes unglued like a GM side view mirror)