After a long exhaustive fight, the Jacksonville city council finally approved $63 million in funding to be used to construct new scoreboards. They reportedly will be the world’s largest.
“It was a hard sell”, said team president Mark Lamping, “How do you justify spending that much on something that’s almost never used?”
Indeed, Jacksonville city officials had suggested alternatives like “a large chalkboard” or “maybe one of those playground abacus thingies”. Councilwoman Lyndsey Parker added “This drain on city funding is unjustified. How many points do they have for the entire season? 9? Look, Most games they have 0 or 3 points, can’t people just remember?”
Regardless, the team is celebrating one of its few victories. “Everyone who attends an event at EverBank Field is going to fall in love with these improvements,” Lamping continued, “We owe our fans nothing less than the very best in-stadium experience. This up-to-date stadium technology will give fans the best in video quality, so they can watch any game that’s not the one on the field being played by the Jaguars with stunning clarity. This will really create a personality for EverBank Field which is distinctly Jacksonville.”