The Factory of Sadness

Written by SLAdmin on November 24th, 2013

The unfortunate and ill-timed fact that I’m an adult with things like responsibilities prevented me from waiting in line to purchase an XBox One at midnight on Friday.

So, as I sit here endlessly spamming “F5″ at BestBuy.com, each time greeted by the grayed out button that reads “not in stock”, I can appreciate to some extent what it’s like to be a Cleavland Browns fan. Best Buy has no Xbox Ones. Yet I keep returning to their website thinking that I”ll somehow outsmart the Internet and snag myself some holiday joy. Similarly, Cleavland has no chance of winning most weeks, yet Browns fans keep returning to FirstEnergy stadium. I’ve never felt so in touch with Cleveland, Ohio (?)

Speaking of holiday sadness, Matt McGloin scored me 26.24 points last week. IN THE POSITIVE. AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHO MATT MCGLOIN IS. Needless to say, I lost week 11.

The adversary and I are yet again but 1 game apart. He’s all in on the Jacksonville wounded kittens. I am staying with the Washington Racists Redskins on defense and I unite with my sadness factory brethren by starting Jason Campbell.

You know who could have stood in line until midnight last night with no adverse lifestyle effects at all? Tim Couch, Brian Hoyer, and Brandon Weeden. Way to not do me a solid guys. Oh well, guess it’s another round of River Raid until football starts.

– J

 

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