Playing with myself

Written by SLAdmin on January 1st, 2014

So here at reverse fantasy football central, I’ve emerged victorious this year. Though it’s not without an asterisk. No, I’ve not been pumping myself full of Yak steroids again like 2003 (allegedly). However, the adversary skipped quite a few games this year.

Apparently being “the adversary” is one of the most difficult jobs in the universe. I struggle to understand this, but frankly I don’t need an opponent anyway. I’m in this for one thing. Glory. And Pride. Sure, I’d rather play against an actual person, but I’m no stranger to applying the hand brake. Many a week it’s just me, making the bald man puke, and those are the weeks when it matters. You, and your personal best, shaking hands with Yul Brynner.

Choking Richard and dating Miss Michigan for nothing but the pure satisfaction of venturing deep into the negative.

Yes, it’s been one of those years. Numerous weeks found me giving myself the low five after electing the president (?). Bludgeoning Henry Longfellow for NOTHING but the interpersonal experience of the WIN. Yes, there’s no room for fear when the true adversary is yourself. And those are the weeks that Suckleague is made of. Solitary. Comforted only by the lonely glare of a 60 inch LCD TV, teaching Patrick Stewart to Mambo.

Champion. I.

– J


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