Texans owner Bob Mcnair introduced Bill O’Brian as the team’s new head coach earlier this week. “He showed that he has the ability to step into difficult situations and turn them around,” McNair said. “He did that at Penn State under very difficult circumstances and did an outstanding job there. We expect to see good things happen immediately.”
O’Brian was pursued by several NFL teams and Mcnair believes one of the reasons he was able to hire O’Brian amid heavy competition was his ability to look stoic. “Look people want stability, solidity in their job. The more stoic I can look, well that’s got to impress a man. Early on, I set out to look like an 18th century rail worker, or at the very least, a civil war quartermaster. I think the results of my efforts speak for themselves.”
There’s no denying Mr. Mcnair is able to look awfully stoic. But when queried further as to if that’s really something that matters to a potential head coach, he responded “Look at this picture. This is a hunting party from the 1920s. Do you think I’d look out of place in this photo?”
An animated Mcnair continued, “Look, I’m worth 2 billion dollars. You don’t become a billionaire by getting lucky. You do it by looking stoic. Now I wanted Bill O’ Brain as the head coach of this Houston football team in the great state of Texas. And to pull that off, I needed to look so unfathomably stoic, you’d mistake me for 6th century bishop. I was commited to looking so stoic, you’d think I was involved in the purchase of Alaska.”
It’s hard to disagree he didn’t pull that off.