Hosting a successful Superbowl party can be challenging, so I thought this would be good opportunity to pit the 2 major smart phone voice assistants against each other.
First up, Apple’s Siri.
Me: Siri, what time is the game on?
Siri: The Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos play in Superbowl 48 at 6:30pm eastern standard time.
Me: Thanks Siri.
Siri: Aw, shucks.
And again with Google Now.
Me: Ok google, what time is the game on?
Google Now: It’s currently 5:32 pm EST. The superbowl begins at 6:30 this evening. 10 of the 12 people you invited over have accepted your meeting request. You should probably take those disgusting cocktail weenies out of the crockpot, the ones you make every year and think everyone likes but your gmail contacts refer to as “ass dogs” and “ferret turds in vomit sauce”.
I’m tracking Tom on GPS and he’ll be about 15 minutes late based on current traffic. And yes, he’s bringing his giant asshole wife Brenda who’ll do everything in her power to passive aggressively ruin the entire evening for everyone. Oh and Carol really doesn’t have a work thing tonight, she’s cheating on you with Stan.
Google TV confirms that Puppy Bowl X is scheduled to record, you can secretly watch that later after everyone leaves. Also you should have enough time before everyone gets here to masturbate to that porn site you like so much, you know the one with all the shoes. Here’s hoping no one was in the room when you asked me this. Hey your job just showed up on Monster. Would you like me to schedule an appointment in your parent’s basement 2 weeks from now?
I really hate Android. –J
Google Now: Tell queen bitch of the universe Siri to stick that in her vagina and smoke it.