Browns hire Wilbert Montgomery

Written by SLAdmin on February 6th, 2014

The Cleveland front office announced on Thursday the hiring of former Ravens running backs coach Wilbert Montgomery. Montgomery had been with Baltimore for 6 seasons. He also played tailback for the Philadelphia Eagles from 1977 to 1984.

Browns head coach Mike Pettine had this to say about the hire. “We’re looking forward to utilizing Wilbert’s many years of expertise to help improve our backfield. While his experience was certainly one of the factors that we considered when selecting Wilbert, it was mostly because his Raven’s head shot has to be one of the worst photographs I’ve ever seen.”

“As soon as we heard he was available, we had to bring him in.” added general manager Michael Lombardi. “I want every opportunity to post this picture in as many places as I can.” It’s hard to argue the point. His Ravens head shot is terrible. Team reaction was similar.

“It’s horrific, I made it my Facebook picture.” said Browns Pro Bowl receiver Josh Gordon. “I must tweet it out 5 times a day. I mean who took this picture then said ‘Yep, that’s great. We got it. Thanks Wilbert, it will be up on the site in a few minutes. You look fantastic.’ I mean I hope that photographer is in jail somewhere.”

“It’s gruesome. It looks like the bottom of his jaw is about to fall off of his skull.” added quarterback Jason Campbell. “Did they dangle his child out of a window to get that look?” A visibly disturbed Campbell took a moment to collect himself then continued, “He’s a fine looking man in real life, but that picture, man. It looks like he’s in clinical shock. Was it like, ‘Ok Wilbert, look at this picture of a dead puppy getting eaten by a vulture. Now say cheese.’ I just wish I could unsee it. I really can’t talk about it anymore…”

Likely unbeknownst to Campbell, Browns CEO Joe Banner is reportedly considering a billboard outside of First Energy announcing the hire.

– J

 

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