Cardinals Head coach Bruce Arians has made it no secret that he’s very impressed by the ability and play of Michael Sam. So much so he’s not even bothering with a poker face and openly admitting his desire to draft the stand out Missouri defensive end and SEC defensive player of the year. Sam is of course the first openly gay player in an NFL draft, so this is significant news coming out of Phoenix. “Let’s just say we’re very interested in having Michael Sam as a part of this ball club”, stated a resolute Bruce Arians.
Ironically though, Arizona is currently in the process of attempting to make anti-gay measures state law. Arizona’s legislature recently passed a controversial bill that would allow business owners, as long as they state their religious beliefs, to deny service to gay and lesbian customers. This certainly would make Michael Sam an even more controversial pick for the Cardinals.
Local reaction was mixed.
Scottsdale florist Jenna Weiss stated “Michael Smith is doomed for all eternity. However, in the meantime, let’s see if he can help us win some games. Go Michael Smith. Go Arizona Cardinals.”
“I heard we might draft him”, said Phoenix area Starbucks manager Wade Davis. “He seems like a talented young defender. The Cardinals could certainly use him. If it happens, I look forward to kicking his queer ass out of my store.”
Elaine Scruggs, mayor of Glendale added “The streets will flow with his blood and the blood of all men who taste the seed of men. Fire born of divine rage will surely engulf his family as a legion of demon swine rip his soul apart piece by piece as he begs for mercy in a pit of sulfur that cannot be quenched, but boy do we need depth at defensive end. I’m all for it.”
We reached out to Michael Sam to get his initial reaction upon learning of the strong possibility of being drafted by Arizona, “I broke out into profuse cold sweats, involuntarily screamed out loud, then completely lost control of my bowels.”