Boston area hospitals prepping for Gronkowski’s week 1 return

Written by SLAdmin on September 3rd, 2014

After an injury riddled 2013 season, the New England Patriots appear to be going into the 2014 season with a healthy Rob Gronkowski. Gronkowski said Monday that he’s been given the green light to play in the season opener against the Dolphins.

Local area hospitals were prepping for a busy weekend. “We’re super excited, we’re super pumped” said area orthopedist Milton Yang. “You never know with Gronk. Will he break an arm? Will he fracture his tibia? Will his infection develop an infection? Will his head simply fall off? This is a challenging time of year for us. But we’re mentally and physically ready for his admission this weekend.”

Gronkowski indicated that he won’t be playing every snap, wanting to get his “feet wet” against Miami then taking more snaps as the weeks progress, provided he doesn’t shatter his clavicle on the first play of the game. “Look as long as my skeletal structure doesn’t unexpectedly disintegrate on the first drive, I’m looking to have a big year. In fact, I’m calling it – I’ll be setting yardage and scoring records this year. Provided my blood doesn’t mysteriously change into some kind of foam polymer or pancake batter. Which I think is fairly unlikely. This is the year of the Gronk.”

He did suffer a mild ankle sprain during the interview, but didn’t think it would be a factor.

Rob Gronkowski is Flimsy

–J

 

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