Peyton Manning murders John Fox with an axe

Written by SLAdmin on September 16th, 2014

Earlier today, following an apparent spat between himself and head coach John Fox over a new offensive formation, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning pulled out a single bit felling axe and swung at Fox multiple times, causing massive trauma and bleeding that ultimately resulted in Fox’s death. As Broncos practice is regularly filmed, the gruesome act was captured on video from multiple angles (the footage of which is so disturbing it will not be shown here.)

Broncos GM John Elway was quick to issue a statement, “Yes I’ve seen the film and it’s certainly a bit unsettling. But we really believe that due process needs to run its course here. This is America and Manning is innocent until proven guilty. He’ll start Sunday at Seattle.”

Team owner Pat Bowlen added, “Based on the extensive information that we have right now and what we know about Peyton, not only as a person, but what he has also done for this community, we believe he deserves to play while the legal process plays out. At the same time, we must defer to the legal system to determine whether he went too far. But we cannot make that judgment.”

Manning himself released a statement after the incident indicating that he was “sorry about the hurt I have brought to my coach. I am not a perfect. But I am, without a doubt, not an axe murderer. No one can understand the hurt that I feel for Fox and for the harm I caused him. My goal is always to give my coach constructive feedback, and that’s what I tried to do that day.”

Peyton Manning Kills John Fox

Reebok, Gatorade, and MasterCard have all released statements in support of Manning and affirmed his endorsement deals are not in any danger.

– J

 

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